1 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:00,000 www.titlovi.com 2 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:09,000 Ripped By mstoll 3 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,706 Freeze! 4 00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:16,176 Where do you think you're going? 5 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,544 Uh, no place, Mom. 6 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:20,308 We're just, uh, trying to break in our coats. 7 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,149 But we were supposed to all be here 8 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,784 tonight to share this. 9 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,919 Oh, no, not another Woodstock slide show 10 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,154 where you guys spend the evening trying to spot yourselves 11 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:31,091 among... among a sea of long hair and beards. 12 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,459 Jennifer, 13 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,462 we once spotted a blonde speck 14 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:39,398 in that crowd that was definitely your mother. 15 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,526 That's not what we're doing tonight. 16 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,137 What are we doing tonight? 17 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:47,005 You're helping me make a time capsule for school. 18 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,842 Oh, that sounds neat... what are you gonna put in it? 19 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,111 I'm gonna put stuff about our family. 20 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,513 Can you put Alex in there? 21 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,249 I could try. 22 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,717 So if you have any mementos that remind you of growing up, 23 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,253 put them in there. 24 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,655 I, uh, I actually have the first dollar I ever earned. 25 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,489 Uh, and I'll sell it to you for 25 bucks. 26 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,063 You sure you can't put Alex in there? 27 00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:12,965 Maybe if we let some of the hot air out of him, he'll fit. 28 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,234 So what do you got in here so far, Andy? 29 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,170 I got my baby boots. -Oh... 30 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,705 Yeah, you know, I've got mine bronzed... 31 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:23,008 which made it really tough to walk. 32 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,310 Look, our old color slides. 33 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,336 Oh, no, the slides! -No slides. 34 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,916 I thought you kids loved my slide shows. 35 00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,285 You used to sit there, 36 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:36,255 staring at them, eyes wide open. 37 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,256 No, Dad, we learned to sleep that way. 38 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,132 I can't believe you guys can watch this. 39 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,400 You look ridiculous. 40 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:51,069 Half a million people trying to stop a senseless war. 41 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,906 You find that ridiculous? 42 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,507 I'm talking about the outfits. 43 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,143 I'm dying, I'm dying. 44 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,979 Promise me you'll never show these when my friends are here. 45 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,614 Promise or I'm leaving home right now. 46 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,150 Mallory, that was history in the making. 47 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:07,052 There were people... every state in the union at that protest. 48 00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:09,453 What were you protesting... good grooming? 49 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,393 Mommy, you look so pretty. 50 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,795 Like an Indian princess. 51 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,796 That's your father, dear. 52 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,134 There I am. -There you go. 53 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,070 You look almost as pretty as Daddy. 54 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,906 Daddy, how long ago was that? 55 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:30,108 That was very long ago. 56 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:33,340 In a galaxy far, far away. 57 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,682 All right, who wants to see 58 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,983 the Peace Corps slides? 59 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,352 You know, this is fun, and it's a great way 60 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,955 to clean out my closet. 61 00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:44,389 Do you have room for six pairs of Earth Shoes, 62 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,390 a mood ring and a pet rock? 63 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,063 Why were you guys always protesting stuff? 64 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,165 Well, I think it was just the times. 65 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,901 There was a lot to be upset about, you know? 66 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,869 War, the government. 67 00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,539 Not being able to drag a comb through your hair. 68 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,808 Don't listen to your brother, Andy. 69 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,010 If he'd been older, he would've loved the '60s. 70 00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:08,513 Mom, the only way I could've enjoyed the '60s 71 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:11,149 would be if my headband had been too tight, 72 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,318 I had lost consciousness 73 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,321 and woke up in the '80s. 74 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,457 Wait a minute, Alex. 75 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,092 I seem to remember your getting involved 76 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,460 in a protest or two. 77 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,628 That's right, 78 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,695 Andy, and it was for a good cause, too... 79 00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,465 The Equal Rights Amendment. 80 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,267 Alex? 81 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:30,402 No, it was for a better cause than that. 82 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,905 It was for a girl. 83 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:45,050 All right! 84 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,052 That's right. Sing it! 85 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,587 It's important. 86 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,088 Are you okay? 87 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,556 No, not really. 88 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:54,559 Look, Deena, I cannot go on with this any longer. 89 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,362 I-I-I'm not really... 90 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:59,164 Alex, that was a very courageous thing you did, 91 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,466 coming to Dorothy's defense like that. 92 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,902 Well, thanks, but, uh, 93 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:07,272 listen, about this whole ERA business, this-this... 94 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,908 this button, this-this shirt... it's not... 95 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,044 Is that a scratch on your ear? 96 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,413 Yeah, but it's nothing. 97 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,414 Oh, those animals. 98 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:28,226 Alex, I don't think I've ever been as attracted to anybody 99 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,227 as I am to you right now. 100 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,204 So, what is it you wanted to tell me? 101 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,140 Don't remember. 102 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:44,142 I think it was a trivia question. 103 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:45,645 Isn't this romantic? 104 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:49,206 The two of us in prison together. 105 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,685 Alex, I want to think you for coming to my defense. 106 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,254 I'm proud of you. 107 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,490 And I'm very impressed with your passion for the movement. 108 00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,326 Well, uh, Dorothy, it was a privilege 109 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,762 to come to your aid. 110 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,497 I mean, I-I regret I have 111 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,799 but one ear to give to the cause. 112 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,001 Alex, when you talk like that, I can barely 113 00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,571 keep my hands off you. 114 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:15,474 But-but those are just idle words. 115 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,577 I mean, there is a job to be done here. 116 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,746 Yes, there is. -Right on! 117 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,080 You know, and not only by us, 118 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,882 but by women everywhere. 119 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,217 Yeah, tell 'em! 120 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,885 How long must we wait? 121 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,820 How long are we expected to accept these indignities? 122 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,821 How long, Lord? 123 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,627 You know, I feel the way President Kennedy must've felt 124 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,497 that day at the Berlin wall, when he said, 125 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,865 "Today I am a Berliner." 126 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,333 Well, today in this cell, I say to you, 127 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,336 "I am a woman." 128 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,709 Alex definitely turns up in the most unlikely places. 129 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,478 "His mother put him to bed, and made some chamomile tea, 130 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,148 and she gave a dose of it to Peter." 131 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,416 See? Right there. 132 00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:00,318 "One tablespoon full to be taken at bedtime. 133 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,654 "But Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, 134 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,123 "who are good little bunnies, 135 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,893 had bread and milk and blackberries for supper." 136 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,095 There, see? 137 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,997 These are blackberries. 138 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:15,367 Read it again, Mommy. 139 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,069 Give it a break, Alex. 140 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,905 She read it three times. 141 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,007 Hey, come on, Andy and I love to read together. 142 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,008 "And then Mr. Reagan said... 143 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,615 "'Oh, look, Mommy, 144 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,015 "It's Secretary of State... 145 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,223 It's Secretary of State George Shultz." 146 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,226 Boy, Andrew, this I Love Republicans pop-up book 147 00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,029 was the best purchase I ever made. 148 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,731 Make Nancy wave again. 149 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,732 Hi. 150 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,637 What is this word right here? 151 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,638 "Impeach." 152 00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,312 Isn't that sweet? 153 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,913 It really is. 154 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,081 You know, sometimes I think we're too harsh on Alex. 155 00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:06,585 He-he's not just a callous archconservative Republican. 156 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,620 You know, sometimes he can be a warm, 157 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,089 loving son and brother. 158 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,358 "I... am... 159 00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:16,487 not... a crook." 160 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,634 The one thing you don't want to see, though, 161 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,936 is a book in Mallory's hands. 162 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,672 "But I reckon I got to light out 163 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,307 "for the territory ahead of the rest because Aunt Sally, 164 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,877 "she's gonna adopt me and civilize me 165 00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,711 and I can't stand it... I've been there before." 166 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,717 Mal, is that you? 167 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,052 What are you doing? 168 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:43,855 I'm reading. 169 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,492 When did you learn how? 170 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,728 When I found out that Cosmopolitan magazine 171 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,931 was banned in certain places, I became enraged. 172 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,867 Then I saw Huckleberry Finn sitting on the coffee table, 173 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,370 and I said to myself, 174 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,471 "What better way to show Jennifer my support?" 175 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,440 So I picked it up and I started reading and you know what? 176 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,243 I love it. 177 00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:08,013 I love reading... I'm gonna teach Nick how to read. 178 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:11,483 Mallory did a great job of it. 179 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,286 "The little engine looked at the hill 180 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,521 and said, 'I think I can."' 181 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:23,762 "I think... I can." 182 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,665 "I think I can." 183 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,266 This is getting pretty exciting, huh? 184 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,101 I wonder what happens next? 185 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,102 He gets up the hill, Nick. 186 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,543 I got a few things... 187 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,945 from my own personal collection. 188 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,413 Alex, that's way too big. 189 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,473 What's in there, your ego? 190 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,248 Andy, I'm gonna give you my favorite baby toy. 191 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:56,528 She knew how to feather her hair before she even had any. 192 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,564 And this is the English textbook that I used to help Nick 193 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,734 get his high school equivalency diploma. 194 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:06,771 Yeah, yeah, you, uh, you were a lot of help. 195 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,708 What is a verb? 196 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,343 What does it do in a sentence? 197 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,211 Uh, it just kind of sits there, 198 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,946 trying not to bother the other words. 199 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,382 Come on, Nick. 200 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,217 A verb is a word that does something active in a sentence, 201 00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,618 like walk or run or eat. 202 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,759 Yeah, but, um, eating's not active. 203 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,261 Unless you eat and run. 204 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,064 Well, you don't have to be moving to be active. 205 00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:35,034 You just have to be doing something. 206 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,602 Well... what about if you're dead? 207 00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,472 I mean, you can't be active when you're dead, 208 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,066 unless you're a ghost or a vampire. 209 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:49,881 Well, you can use verbs for ghosts and vampires. 210 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,984 Uh, just not for ordinary dead people, huh? 211 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,487 I'm gonna have to look that up, 212 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,487 I think they have special verbs for them. 213 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,326 You know, this is without a doubt, 214 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,995 the most inane and absurd conversation 215 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,598 I've ever heard. 216 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,667 Alex, what are you doing here? 217 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,604 What am I do... well, I'm not "doing" anything, 218 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,972 so I guess I'll need one of those special verbs. 219 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,983 Like you use for dead people. 220 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,987 Did Nick graduate? 221 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,556 Yes, Andy, Nick did graduate... 222 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,959 What was that, honey? 223 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,928 With Alex's help. 224 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,364 That's right. 225 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,765 And it was no easy feat either, pal. 226 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,001 Oh, come on, Alex, don't underestimate your sister. 227 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,970 She's helped quite a few people. 228 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,206 Remember when she was our little, uh, Ann Landers? 229 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,341 I better get started. 230 00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,976 Look at all these letters I have already. 231 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,044 Oh... -Oh, hey. 232 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,646 You can't actually look, Dad. 233 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,914 They're confidential. 234 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,383 Oh, let me look. 235 00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,848 Well, I guess you're family and all, so... 236 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:08,126 "Dear Mallory, I need your advice. 237 00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,895 "My partner doesn't satisfy me sexually, 238 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,198 and I was wondering..." 239 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,200 Oh, Dad! My advice is that you don't read that. 240 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,837 Very wise, Dear Mallory. 241 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,539 Alex, Alex, guess what. 242 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,942 I'm Dear Mallory. 243 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:27,078 Yeah, and I'm adorable Alex. 244 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,114 Ha-ha. 245 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,648 No, you don't understand. 246 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,649 I'm taking over the personal advice column 247 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,619 for the Columbus Shopper's Guide. 248 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,820 The column is called "Dear Mallory." 249 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,523 No, wait, wait, wait... Columbus Shopper's Guide. 250 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,425 Isn't that that freebie giveaway thing they have 251 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,127 at the checkout counter at the supermarkets, 252 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,062 the one with all the coupons in it? 253 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,597 That's right. 254 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,665 What are you so excited about, Mal? 255 00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:50,468 You're gonna, you're gonna be giving advice to-to lowlife 256 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:53,138 bargain hunters who can't afford to buy a real paper. 257 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:56,708 But, Alex, they're not lowlife bargain hunters. 258 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,811 They're people, real people coming to me for advice. 259 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,080 Mallory, if these people are willing to shell out a quarter, 260 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,081 they could turn to Dear Abby. 261 00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,385 I can help him. 262 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,556 That was a great job. 263 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:11,824 People came to me for help, 264 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:15,059 and I didn't help them one bit, but I had fun. 265 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,695 I guess that's all that counts. 266 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,130 Oh, come on, Dad, you-you've messed up 267 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,198 on helping people plenty of times. 268 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,333 Like who? 269 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,434 Like me, whenever you helped me 270 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,836 with my homework. 271 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,077 I remember a certain philosophy paper that I was doing... 272 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,941 I don't know, Dad, I have to disagree with you. 273 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,544 Kierkegaard felt that all knowledge 274 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,445 must be self-knowledge. 275 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,347 I think you're wrong, Jen. 276 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,916 He was also concerned 277 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,250 with the larger societal problems. 278 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,086 Dad, you're missing the point completely. 279 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,455 Oh, am I? 280 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:47,592 Kierkegaard believed that examining man's existence 281 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,128 within a larger framework of a societal, 282 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,897 historical dialectic was the avoidance 283 00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:54,933 of subjective knowledge so essential to comprehending 284 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,934 any type of spiritual truth. 285 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,833 Jennifer, go to your room. 286 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,680 Jennifer, go to your room. 287 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,351 Now, come on, don't be so hard on your dad. 288 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,154 He's done a lot around here. 289 00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,922 Remember when he re-wallpapered the kitchen? 290 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,922 All by himself, too. 291 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:25,163 Elyse, Mal, Jennifer, Andrew, everybody! 292 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,732 Could you come out for a minute?! 293 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,732 There's something I'd like to show you! 294 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:30,803 What, honey? 295 00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:32,904 Oh... 296 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,373 Oh, Steven, it's magnificent! 297 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,476 I never really liked this wallpaper, but you made it work. 298 00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:39,945 This is pretty nice, Mr. K. 299 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,614 Maybe you can come over to my house 300 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,082 and do my kitchen for me. 301 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,617 Well, I have to admit 302 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,617 I'm really good with my hands. 303 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,722 Anyway, there's a certain satisfaction a man gets, 304 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,492 a certain satisfaction a man gets from a job well done. 305 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,661 I think I should do more work around the house. 306 00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,030 I don't think so, Dad. 307 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,032 Oh, that's... 308 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,167 that's... that's fine... no... 309 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,169 That's fine. 310 00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,271 No problem. 311 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,271 I fully expected that to happen. 312 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,579 Whoa! Whoa! 313 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:17,749 Whoa! Hey, hey... -Oh! 314 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:22,654 Well, it was beautiful while it lasted. 315 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,423 Your father's obsessiveness is one of 316 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,791 his most charming traits. 317 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,360 Well, thank you, dear, but I think I've seen you 318 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,462 go off the deep end a few times. 319 00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:32,731 Oh, you have? 320 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,400 Yeah, come on, Mom, he's got you there. 321 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:38,436 Does the phrase "snake eyes" mean anything to you? 322 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,672 All right, all right, all right, 323 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,773 don't get into your pet names for each other. 324 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,508 You know, Andy, there was one time 325 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:47,178 when your mother became a complete compulsive. 326 00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:48,714 Mom, I bet you were 327 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,082 the prettiest compulsive on the block. 328 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,717 Thank you, honey. 329 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,419 Your mother became a real riverboat gambler. 330 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,121 All she was missing was the riverboat. 331 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,624 You see, we-we all went to Atlantic City, 332 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,393 where your mother was to deliver a lecture at a convention. 333 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,896 Instead, she fell in love with blackjack. 334 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:05,831 Who's he? 335 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,399 It's a card game, honey. 336 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:08,801 Blackjack's a card game. 337 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,502 Like "Go Fish"? 338 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,438 A little, but when was the last time 339 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,973 someone made $2,000 playing "Go Fish"? 340 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,508 Mom, I'm hungry. 341 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:17,943 Oh, can I get some ice cream? 342 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:19,411 Oh, in a few minutes, honey. 343 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,347 Your dad and I are gonna play a couple hands of blackjack 344 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,815 and then we'll go have a snack. 345 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,216 Hey, hey, Mom, Mom, look, what are you doing? 346 00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,086 Every second you delay means interest lost 347 00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:28,687 on the money we're gonna win. 348 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,189 Oh, there's Tom Jones! There's Tom Jones! 349 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,190 He's coming this way! Here he comes! 350 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:38,831 Good call, Mal. 351 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,165 It looked like him from a distance, Alex. 352 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,735 You want to give it a try? 353 00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,736 Well, we might as well get it over with. 354 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,271 You guys stay behind the rope here 355 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,840 and don't get in any trouble. 356 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,241 I'm sorry, but only people over 21 in here. 357 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,242 Oh, I'll sit back here. 358 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,913 Your last 21. 359 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,129 What do you think I should do, Elyse? 360 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,964 Oh, don't ask me, Steven; I can only think about my speech. 361 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,433 Stick. -Hmm? 362 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,734 Didn't you read the cards that Alex gave you? 363 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,437 Since the deck is rich in tens, you've got to stick, 364 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,273 figuring the dealer's four will bust him. 365 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,273 You heard her... stick. 366 00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:26,311 23, a bust. 367 00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,311 Oh, whoo! -We won! 368 00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:30,716 Come on, let's cash in those chips. 369 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,984 Oh, come on, Elyse. 370 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,952 Why don't you just play one game? 371 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,587 Well, all right. -Come on. 372 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,556 Guess it'd be silly to come all the way to Atlantic City 373 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,325 and not play one hand of blackjack. 374 00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:41,727 Hey, Mom, how's it going? 375 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,262 Remember, if the dealer has a four, five or six showing, 376 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,798 you want to stick on 12. If he's got a three... 377 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,467 Hit the 13, seven or above, hit the 17. 378 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,903 It's great to see a mother and son 379 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,037 enjoying a common interest. 380 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,873 Okay, see, the dealer has a picture... 381 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,576 hit. 382 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,576 Stick. 383 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,914 17 for the dealer. 384 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,715 Whoo! -Yay! We win! 385 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,217 I got to get in on this. 386 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,452 Hi, how you doing? 387 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,620 I'm Big Al from Vegas. 388 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,384 Vinny says hello. 389 00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:15,626 Excuse me, son, didn't I tell you you weren't allowed in here? 390 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,096 Who, Me? No, you've never seen me before. 391 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,589 I'm just here with my wife and my brother-in-law... 392 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,670 Nice try, kid. 393 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,939 See you later, hon. 394 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,109 Blackjack! Whoo! 395 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,211 On that note, let's call it a day. 396 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,880 Come on, honey, let's hit the boardwalk. 397 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,014 Can it, Steven. 398 00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:38,014 We're not going anywhere. 399 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,588 Hit me over here. Stick. 400 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,990 Hit me over, but be gentle. 401 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:45,991 Ooh, soft 16. 402 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,159 Hit me again. 403 00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,227 Ooh, stick. 404 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,728 Hit me over here on the end. 405 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,231 Stick. Thanks, Eddie. -My pleasure, Elyse. 406 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,666 The lady wins on all three. 407 00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,136 Whoo! 408 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,538 Way to go, Mom. Hang in there. 409 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,538 How ya doing? Nice to see ya. 410 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,944 You have won quite a bit of money, Elyse. 411 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,813 Why don't we just cash in now? 412 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,982 Oh, Steven, everything is under control, baby. 413 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,752 One more hour, and we are in fat city. 414 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,155 Okay, now, Eddie, I'm doubling my bets. 415 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,524 Be nice to me. 416 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,858 Mom, can I go backstage 417 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,160 and hang around Tom Jones's dressing room? 418 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,162 Sure, honey. 419 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,162 Say hi to Tom for me. 420 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,166 Mom, I'm really getting hungry. 421 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,167 Here's ten dollars. 422 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,401 Get yourself some ice cream. 423 00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:33,963 Mom, I saw this girl in the lobby... 424 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,343 I think I have enough stuff. 425 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,878 Oh, don't be silly, Andy. 426 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:43,147 The night is young and Keaton memories have just begun. 427 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,883 You know what, Andy? I think it's time 428 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:48,486 that I pass down to you one of my favorite collections. 429 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,088 Baseball cards? 430 00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,623 They're better than baseball cards: 431 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,225 The Alex Keaton report cards. 432 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,661 Nursery school through college. 433 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,995 You can keep 'em, you can collect 'em, 434 00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:59,831 you can trade 'em with your friends. 435 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,900 Thanks, Alex. I'll treasure 'em. 436 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,236 You really know how 437 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,971 to give that something special, don't you, Alex? 438 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,173 Why would you want to save your report cards? 439 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,542 Because they're gems. 440 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,345 I mean, every year, all A's. 441 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,347 Unlike you, Mallory, who spiced up her academic life 442 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:19,684 by getting a Q in math. 443 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,420 Mal, I think it's great your brother shows 444 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,921 such an interest in academics. 445 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,823 After all, the first day of school 446 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,692 is Alex's favorite day of the year. 447 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,428 Jen, I'm telling you, you're gonna do great in high school. 448 00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,164 Yeah, Jen, what are you worried about? 449 00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,498 This is Harding High. This is my alma mater. 450 00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:37,559 I'm a legend there. Let me see your schedule. 451 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,072 Little kids. 452 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,575 Okay, first period you got Mr. Gibson for English. 453 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,577 No problem. 454 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,745 He loved me. 455 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,746 Wrote me a recommendation for college. 456 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,682 Second period, Mrs. Hentoff for math. 457 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,684 She wrote me two recommendations for college. 458 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,953 Third period, Mr. Kaufman for science. 459 00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:58,548 He drove me to college. 460 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,127 Andy, Andy, let's get to work, buddy. 461 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,362 You got a lot of ground to cover here. 462 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:05,497 First day of kindergarten, 463 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,632 you want to get off to a good start, right? 464 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,634 I'm ready, Alex. -You know, the first thing 465 00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,836 your teacher's gonna ask is what you did over the summer. 466 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,272 Now, a lot of kids are gonna say, "I went to the zoo" 467 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,574 or "I went to the beach," 468 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,775 or "I went to a baseball game." What are you gonna say? 469 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,472 I watched the Iran-Contra hearings. 470 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:25,684 And? 471 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,982 President Reagan doesn't know anything. 472 00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,991 Doesn't know anything about the scandal, okay? 473 00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:37,662 You don't want to be quoted out of context. 474 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,498 See, the great thing about Andy is, 475 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:42,633 whenever I'm talking, the kid is mesmerized. 476 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,126 He expresses it in a funny way. 477 00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:49,241 Andy? -Hmm? 478 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,043 Come on. Time for bed, sweetie. 479 00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:53,307 I'll take him up, Mom. -Come on, Andy. 480 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,848 I better stay to oversee the time capsule. 481 00:21:57,849 --> 00:21:59,017 It's okay, Andy. 482 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:00,719 We'll work on it for you. 483 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,744 That's what I'm afraid of. 484 00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,557 So now what? 485 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:10,328 Oh, I don't know, maybe... mm! 486 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,697 This. 487 00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,333 That's great, Merlin. 488 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,935 Or perhaps... 489 00:22:17,936 --> 00:22:20,604 this. 490 00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:23,407 Please, Dad, no magic tricks. 491 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,036 You know what happened the last time. 492 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:33,551 Okay, Alex, pick a card! 493 00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:36,954 Any card. 494 00:22:36,955 --> 00:22:42,326 Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, just the person I want to see. 495 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:45,429 Get in this box. 496 00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:46,932 What is this, Daddy Dearest? 497 00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,932 Come on... 498 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,936 Steven, we're not gonna put our daughter in a magic box. 499 00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:54,238 Well, okay, Elyse, then you-you help me. 500 00:22:54,239 --> 00:22:56,239 Oh, Jen, get in. That's all right. 501 00:22:58,276 --> 00:22:59,911 When I next open this box, 502 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:03,881 my daughter Jennifer will be gone. 503 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,851 Come one, come all from far and near, 504 00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,186 you have seen my daughter dear. 505 00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:14,226 I will make her disappear. 506 00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:18,196 Well, that's-that's very good. 507 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:19,264 Now-Now bring her back. 508 00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:21,233 Okay. 509 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:24,468 She's gone, she's gone, alack, alack, 510 00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:28,407 I will bring my daughter back. 511 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,354 Okay, okay... Jennifer? 512 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:44,723 Jennifer, the trick worked. 513 00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:47,191 You, uh, come out now. 514 00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,387 It's nothing. 515 00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:55,698 She's really gone. 516 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,700 Can you do that with Mallory? 517 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,375 Wha-What's going on here? Where is Jennifer? 518 00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,211 I don't know. 519 00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,046 That was just the beginning. 520 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,948 Soon, Dad was completely out of control. 521 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:10,982 Poodle! 522 00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,351 Thanks! My very own poodle. 523 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,488 What'll it be, Alex... a mouse, peacock? 524 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:20,191 Giraffe? 525 00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:21,827 Dad? -Hmm? 526 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:24,455 This has got to stop. 527 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,068 What do you mean? 528 00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:32,938 Dad... 529 00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:36,169 Dad, you're a well-educated guy. 530 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:45,881 And-and-and most of the time, you're pretty normal, but... 531 00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:52,556 Dad, you got to face it, you have a problem. 532 00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:53,992 Alex, it's just a hobby. 533 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,222 No, no, Dad, Dad, Dad... 534 00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:01,632 it's an obsession; it's a compulsion. 535 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:04,001 You have a compulsion for... say it with me... 536 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,337 you have a compulsion for... 537 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,739 birthday party tricks. 538 00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,208 That's... that's right, Dad. 539 00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:12,310 And it's gotta stop. 540 00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:14,279 The party is over. 541 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,180 You're right, Alex. 542 00:25:25,924 --> 00:25:27,924 I need help. 543 00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:34,465 Andy, what are you doing out of bed? 544 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:35,700 I can't sleep. 545 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,868 The clothes on my chair look like a monster. 546 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,571 This, uh, this wouldn't by any chance be a ploy 547 00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:43,674 to get one of us to read you a bedtime story, would it? 548 00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:48,779 No, but the monster's requesting anything but Dr. Seuss. 549 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,215 I'll, uh, I'll go. 550 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,215 I speak monster. 551 00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,319 I'll get it. 552 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,355 Hey! -Hi. 553 00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:01,325 Things were going so well there for a moment. 554 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,061 Hey, Mal... Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal... 555 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,963 uh, don't you remember? We had a date tonight. 556 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:07,498 I got two tickets for the postmodern art exhibition 557 00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,633 and pie-eating contest. 558 00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:11,469 Sounds like quite a full evening. 559 00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:13,637 I'm sorry, honey, I just got caught up 560 00:26:13,638 --> 00:26:16,273 in this Keaton family time capsule 561 00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:18,442 that Andy's making for school. 562 00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:19,811 Oh, sounds like fun. 563 00:26:19,811 --> 00:26:20,812 Can I play? 564 00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:22,813 Sure, Nick. 565 00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:24,382 Get in. 566 00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:28,352 And, uh, we'll let you out when Mallory comes to her senses. 567 00:26:28,353 --> 00:26:30,353 Honey, honey, don't get in. 568 00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:36,327 Okay, forget it... I'll just make my own family time capsule. 569 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,762 I mean, that is if I did have a family. 570 00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:40,931 Come on, Nick, what about your dad? 571 00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:42,367 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 572 00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:43,635 I sort of forgot about him. 573 00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:45,470 I mean, we didn't get together until recently, 574 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:47,470 and that was really weird. 575 00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,979 Hey. 576 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,787 Hey. 577 00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:08,993 Hey! 578 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,595 Hey... 579 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:15,032 My God, Elyse, they're speaking Nickanese. 580 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,473 Look at you. 581 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,241 You look great! 582 00:27:23,241 --> 00:27:25,176 Yeah, you look great, too. 583 00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:26,177 Yeah. 584 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:29,380 I don't see what the problem is. 585 00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:31,515 They seem to agree on everything. 586 00:27:31,516 --> 00:27:33,151 Hey-ey-ey... 587 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,953 Hey. -Hey. 588 00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:39,014 I think they're summing up now. 589 00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,561 Nick, no matter what happens, 590 00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:46,597 you'll always feel like part of this family. 591 00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:48,930 Stop, Elyse, I'm going to have nightmares. 592 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,203 Do you remember when Nick almost became 593 00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:53,805 a member of our family? 594 00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:55,607 When was that? 595 00:27:55,608 --> 00:27:57,675 Oh, honey, don't you remember when we almost got married? 596 00:27:57,676 --> 00:28:00,770 Oh, yeah, yeah, that was beautiful. 597 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:07,317 We're gathered here today to join you, Erin, 598 00:28:07,318 --> 00:28:10,554 and you, Michael, in marriage, 599 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:13,357 which is an honorable institution. 600 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,693 It is the foundation of the home 601 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:19,029 as the home is the foundation of society. 602 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:22,090 Oh, sounds serious. 603 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:30,741 The desire to join together in love with another human being 604 00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:33,744 is both noble and courageous. 605 00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:35,979 Nick, why are you getting married? 606 00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,816 Because you asked me. 607 00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:40,984 No, I mean, if I hadn't asked you, would you be here? 608 00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:42,854 By myself? 609 00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,123 Would you have asked me? 610 00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:48,692 Ah... I'm not sure. 611 00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:50,693 You know, I'm not sure we're ready. 612 00:28:53,932 --> 00:28:56,233 Then why did you say yes? 613 00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:59,636 You know, you're so much smarter about these things than me. 614 00:28:59,637 --> 00:29:02,139 I mean, you know, I figured since you thought we were ready, 615 00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:05,342 we must be ready and I just didn't notice. 616 00:29:05,343 --> 00:29:09,146 Nick, why doesn't it feel right? We love each other. 617 00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:10,381 I don't know. 618 00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:11,916 Feels like we're breaking the law. 619 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:14,418 Yeah, yeah, like our wedding picture's gonna go up 620 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,454 on a post office wall. 621 00:29:17,455 --> 00:29:18,890 Yeah, like you say, we're starting 622 00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,525 with a couple of strikes against us: 623 00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,093 I mean, your parents aren't here, 624 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:24,062 our friends aren't here, 625 00:29:24,062 --> 00:29:26,062 this guy doesn't know "Lola..." 626 00:29:30,201 --> 00:29:31,603 Maybe my parents are right. 627 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:32,804 Maybe we're going too fast. 628 00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:34,639 Maybe we could slow down a little. 629 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,608 I mean, we don't have to get married if we don't want to. 630 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,610 No, nobody can force us. 631 00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,246 Okay. 632 00:29:41,246 --> 00:29:43,181 Oh, Nick, I love you. 633 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:45,181 Let's not get married. 634 00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,387 Mallory, you and Nick are so romantic. 635 00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:52,157 You know, I've often caught you guys looking 636 00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:55,793 into each other's eyes with long meaningful stares. 637 00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:59,863 Oh, no, Jennifer, those are blinking contests. 638 00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:02,166 Hey, Jen, if you're looking for romantic role models, 639 00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:05,302 don't go looking at He-Man and She-Ra over here. 640 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:08,405 And you happen to have the most romantic person in the world 641 00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:10,407 living right here under this roof. 642 00:30:10,408 --> 00:30:12,976 Why, thank you, son. 643 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,078 No, Steven, he meant me. 644 00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:18,382 I beg to differ, darling... he meant me. 645 00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:20,617 No, I'm the most romantic. 646 00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:22,886 Don't make me bust your chops. 647 00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:25,722 I was talking about me. 648 00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:28,926 I mean, I, uh, I have something of a way about me. 649 00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:30,395 You may not realize this, 650 00:30:30,396 --> 00:30:34,398 but women think of me as something of a Don Juan. 651 00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:36,890 More like a Don Knotts. 652 00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:40,171 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 653 00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:42,673 Remember when I first started seeing Ellen? 654 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,142 And I drove all night? 655 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,643 I mean, I drove 400 miles just to see her, 656 00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:48,644 to tell her how I felt? 657 00:31:02,727 --> 00:31:04,062 Alex? 658 00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:06,697 Hey... Ellen! 659 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,099 What are you doing here? 660 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,235 I, uh... 661 00:31:11,236 --> 00:31:13,261 I, uh... You forgot your Newsweek. 662 00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:23,213 I-I-I figured you might want that, so I swung by here. 663 00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:25,149 It was no big deal, really. 664 00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:27,018 It was seven hours. 665 00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:32,322 There's a good article on the omelet craze. 666 00:31:32,323 --> 00:31:35,559 I read someone else's copy on the train. 667 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,757 I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear that. 668 00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:48,338 Uh, Ellen, listen... 669 00:31:48,339 --> 00:31:50,641 to be honest with you... 670 00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:54,111 the magazine is not the only reason I came. 671 00:31:54,112 --> 00:31:56,280 Why else? 672 00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:59,383 I don't know. 673 00:31:59,384 --> 00:32:02,519 I, uh, I just had to come. 674 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,722 I mean, I was in-in... in the car, 675 00:32:05,723 --> 00:32:08,191 on my way to the biggest night of my life, 676 00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:11,028 and something made me turn the car around. 677 00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:13,897 I mean, I knew I missed the dinner 678 00:32:13,898 --> 00:32:15,667 and I'd be blowing any shot I had 679 00:32:15,668 --> 00:32:18,969 of returning this tux on time. 680 00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,336 Something made me turn the car around. 681 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:28,378 Ellen, uh, you and I are completely different. 682 00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:30,315 You're an artist. 683 00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:32,549 You write poetry. 684 00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:35,319 You attend anti-nuclear demonstrations. 685 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,155 Me... 686 00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:41,191 I'm an economics major. 687 00:32:41,192 --> 00:32:44,895 I, uh... voted for Reagan. 688 00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:47,531 I'm in the Young Executives Club. 689 00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:53,870 I-I wear a jacket and tie everywhere I go. 690 00:32:53,871 --> 00:32:56,139 Except for train stations at 3:00 in the morning, 691 00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:58,140 in which case, I wear a tuxedo. 692 00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:03,780 Anyway, the point is, Ellen, 693 00:33:03,781 --> 00:33:05,717 that I cannot, for the life of me, 694 00:33:05,718 --> 00:33:09,720 figure out why I love you. 695 00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,955 You love me? 696 00:33:11,956 --> 00:33:15,625 Yeah, I love you, okay? 697 00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:17,028 I-I-I said it. 698 00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:19,629 I mean, after all, Ellen, if I'm gonna go this far, 699 00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:22,599 I might as well go all the way. I love you, all right? 700 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,763 I love you, I love you, I love you. 701 00:33:28,306 --> 00:33:31,108 I'm crazy about you, I'd give anything to be with you, 702 00:33:31,109 --> 00:33:34,311 I can't live without you, okay? 703 00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:36,312 Gotta go. See ya. 704 00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,051 I love you, too, Alex. 705 00:33:40,052 --> 00:33:42,052 I mean, it's like you have a way 706 00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:44,187 of seeing right through me. 707 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:46,857 I'm seeing a part of me that I-I don't ev... 708 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,659 I don't even like to admit exists. 709 00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:50,894 And that scares me, because if you see it, 710 00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:53,163 that forces me... What did you say? 711 00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:55,066 I love you, too. 712 00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:57,868 You do? 713 00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:00,137 Alex, I've never met anybody like you. 714 00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:06,710 You come on like some pompous, arrogant, obnoxious guy. 715 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:13,350 And underneath that, there's this wide-eyed child, 716 00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:16,319 completely innocent and naive. 717 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,390 Oh, is that... 718 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:22,893 sort of a compliment? 719 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,158 Yeah. 720 00:34:27,865 --> 00:34:30,801 And just telling Ellen that I loved her wasn't enough. 721 00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:33,303 I started doing anything I could to impress her. 722 00:34:33,304 --> 00:34:35,363 Are you ready, Mikhail? 723 00:34:39,277 --> 00:34:41,277 Da. 724 00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:46,084 I'm ready. 725 00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,644 What is it that you'll be interpreting for us? 726 00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:54,191 This, uh, particular piece is an interpretation 727 00:34:54,192 --> 00:34:57,992 of the Stock Market Crash of 1929. 728 00:35:03,968 --> 00:35:07,337 What music will you be using to accompany yourself? 729 00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:10,507 Uh, just, uh, just play anything. 730 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:12,772 Th-this dance goes with everything. 731 00:35:20,718 --> 00:35:22,718 Maestro. 732 00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:31,161 Mr. Keaton, is something wrong? 733 00:35:31,162 --> 00:35:34,564 Uh, no, no. 734 00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:35,633 Why do you ask? 735 00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:38,435 Because you're not dancing. 736 00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:40,770 You see, at this point in the dance, 737 00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:42,864 the economy is still good. 738 00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:48,778 In, uh... 739 00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:50,515 in a minute, the crash comes, 740 00:35:50,516 --> 00:35:54,451 interest rates rise, and the dance really takes off. 741 00:36:38,796 --> 00:36:41,631 Alex, are you okay? 742 00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:43,201 I'm fine. 743 00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:45,769 For my next number... 744 00:36:45,770 --> 00:36:47,904 You see, I'm just that kind of guy, 745 00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,073 and when I met Lauren, it was the same thing. 746 00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:52,576 I'd do anything to open up and show my true self, 747 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:54,478 even if it meant lying. 748 00:36:54,478 --> 00:36:56,380 Alex, this is just a polygraph machine. 749 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,582 If someone displays undue tension 750 00:36:58,583 --> 00:37:00,650 or an increase in pulse when answering a question, 751 00:37:00,651 --> 00:37:03,753 the machine buzzes and I know they're not telling the truth. 752 00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:05,822 Does it really bother you? 753 00:37:05,823 --> 00:37:08,325 Oh, no, absolutely not; absolutely not. 754 00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,326 Uh, I got nothing to hide. 755 00:37:19,203 --> 00:37:21,203 Oh, good. It's working. 756 00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:24,641 Well, first I'd like to ask you a few questions 757 00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:26,143 to see how well you'll fit in 758 00:37:26,143 --> 00:37:27,778 with the rest of the subject group. 759 00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:29,680 Now politically, would you describe yourself 760 00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,716 as liberal, middle of the road, or conservative? 761 00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:35,419 Uh, well, I-I don't really like political labels. 762 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,890 Conservative. 763 00:37:40,891 --> 00:37:42,627 Thank you. 764 00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,028 Okay, overachievers, 765 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,763 they tend to meticulously plan out 766 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,832 every aspect of their lives, from graduation to retirement. 767 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,434 Do you see yourself as an obsessive planner? 768 00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:53,437 What, me? No. 769 00:37:56,374 --> 00:37:58,609 Well, I-I wouldn't say obsessive. 770 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,446 I'm a planning maniac. 771 00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:11,955 Now, the typical overachiever 772 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,957 is so focused on classes and career 773 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,959 that there's not much time left for dating. 774 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,162 Would you say you have a very active social life? 775 00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:22,999 An active, active social life? 776 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000 Yeah, are you actively dating? 777 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:35,512 Well, 778 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,847 I go out on a couple of dates a week. 779 00:38:37,848 --> 00:38:40,217 Maybe more. 780 00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:51,429 This particular week was a little slow. 781 00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:55,399 This particular year was a little slow. 782 00:39:00,204 --> 00:39:02,204 Oh, I'll get it. 783 00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:05,609 Hey, Skipper. -Hello, Mr. Keaton. 784 00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,677 Come on in. -Hi, hi, everybody. 785 00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:09,213 Andy told me about his school project, 786 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:11,115 so I brought over my first aid kit. 787 00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:14,551 You're putting a first aid kit in the time capsule? 788 00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:16,087 Time capsule?! 789 00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,087 I-I thought he said a cold capsule. 790 00:39:20,558 --> 00:39:23,927 Uh, so, what's up, guys? 791 00:39:23,928 --> 00:39:25,429 Oh, we were just discussing 792 00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:27,931 how Alex is so romantic with his girlfriends. 793 00:39:27,932 --> 00:39:29,600 Oh, well, did you discuss 794 00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,701 how romantic he's been with mine? 795 00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,970 What's this? 796 00:39:33,971 --> 00:39:35,506 I-I liked this girl named Jane, 797 00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:38,108 and, uh, imagine my shock and dismay 798 00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,910 to discover that she didn't like me. 799 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,245 Actually, that's to be expected, 800 00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:45,409 but the fact that she liked Alex took me by surprise. 801 00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:48,052 I'm gonna go wash my hands, okay? 802 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,320 Uh, you two get to know each other a little better 803 00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:52,123 while I'm gone. -Please don't leave me. 804 00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:54,123 Uh, Skippy... 805 00:39:55,926 --> 00:39:58,161 We're very close. 806 00:39:58,162 --> 00:40:01,399 Skippy, I'll be right back, okay? 807 00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:17,980 So how long have you known Alex? 808 00:40:28,359 --> 00:40:29,827 I can't remember. 809 00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:32,430 Do you live next door or across the street from Alex? 810 00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:41,404 Are you all right? 811 00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:42,640 You're not having 812 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,442 some kind of attack, are you? 813 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,442 No! 814 00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:52,216 Good. 815 00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:55,218 I'm really glad we had this opportunity to talk. 816 00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:56,320 Great. 817 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,055 Hi, I hope I gave you two 818 00:40:58,055 --> 00:40:59,623 enough time alone together. 819 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,225 I think so. 820 00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:02,493 Excuse me. 821 00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:05,758 Uh, I'm gonna go wash my hair. 822 00:41:06,931 --> 00:41:09,199 Skippy, you mean your hands. 823 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,634 Right, I mean, 824 00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:13,432 I'm gonna wash the hair on my hands. 825 00:41:25,716 --> 00:41:27,716 He's quite a guy, isn't he? 826 00:41:29,019 --> 00:41:32,422 I'll say. 827 00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:34,691 I missed you while you were gone, Alex. 828 00:41:34,692 --> 00:41:38,150 Uh, I was only gone for two minutes, Jane. 829 00:41:40,197 --> 00:41:42,265 I don't know what it is about you, Alex, 830 00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:44,468 but you bring out the animal in me. 831 00:41:46,303 --> 00:41:47,738 Hope I'm not being too forward. 832 00:41:47,738 --> 00:41:49,738 I understand. 833 00:41:53,944 --> 00:41:57,573 Hi, we're here to pick up a pizza for Keaton, please. 834 00:41:58,616 --> 00:42:00,616 Mallory, look. 835 00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:05,788 Jennifer and Mallory, what are you guys doing here? 836 00:42:05,789 --> 00:42:07,891 Um, we... 837 00:42:07,892 --> 00:42:09,893 Come on over and say hello to Alex and Jane. 838 00:42:09,894 --> 00:42:11,295 Uh, no, Skippy, don't go over there. 839 00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:13,295 Why not? -Um... 840 00:42:23,974 --> 00:42:24,975 I'm sorry, Mallory, 841 00:42:24,975 --> 00:42:26,975 but I'm spoken for. 842 00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:30,280 Better be getting back to my date. 843 00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,281 Uh, Skippy, don't... 844 00:42:35,185 --> 00:42:37,854 Uh, uh... 845 00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:39,356 I-I can explain this. 846 00:42:39,356 --> 00:42:40,858 No, Alex, don't bother explaining. 847 00:42:40,859 --> 00:42:43,088 I-I think I can see what's going on here. 848 00:42:46,664 --> 00:42:48,399 I've got a great idea. 849 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,000 You know what we're in perfect formation for. 850 00:42:51,001 --> 00:42:53,570 A gang synchronized swim? 851 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:55,539 No, a sing-along. 852 00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:57,540 Oh, Mom, if you go into "If I Had a Hammer," 853 00:42:57,541 --> 00:42:58,809 I'm gonna lose it. 854 00:42:58,810 --> 00:43:00,977 Oh, come on, a sing-along will be fun. 855 00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,446 After all, we Keatons do it so well. 856 00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,833 Everybody! 857 00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:19,156 I'd like to sing for you, if I might, 858 00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,157 uh, a song that's very special to me, 859 00:44:21,158 --> 00:44:23,927 a song that asks the musical question... 860 00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:28,730 Thank you. 861 00:44:31,869 --> 00:44:33,869 Thank you very much. 862 00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:38,173 Join me. 863 00:46:04,328 --> 00:46:06,797 Kiss me, Dad. 864 00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:53,500 Ripped By mstoll 865 00:48:12,990 --> 00:48:14,990 Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog. 866 00:48:17,990 --> 00:48:21,990 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com